Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
