The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
