My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
