Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
