Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
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