i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
