I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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