Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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