So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
