Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
