whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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