He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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