You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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