I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
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