so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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