Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
