I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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