he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Someone shit on the floor
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
