i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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