I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize