Just cropdusted the office
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize