He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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