You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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