"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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