Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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