You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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