Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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