She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
