He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize