if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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