in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Holy shit dude........stairs
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
