Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
