I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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