it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
