I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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