I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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