you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
