Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
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