omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
