I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
