try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
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