Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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