the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My vagina is very pro this idea
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
