okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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