my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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