I will die if light touches me.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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