love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
