I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
