I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
