we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
