If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize