Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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