Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
