Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize