The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
