I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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