i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize