WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
