i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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