Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
