I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
