Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
