i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
