Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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