I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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