belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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