I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
