I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
