Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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