May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
