she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize