So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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