You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
