Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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