A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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